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Today our bodies grew vast, they grew to the edge of the world. [Jan. 14th, 2008|08:25 pm]


It was last night that I felt the need to write your name. I hadn't had the need to write that name in eight years, 

But that night.

That night it was a compulsion, an obsession that no man should ever give way to, fearing that he may never find his way back. I was thinking about the past and reflecting over an old handwritten journal entry when I felt the need to write your name. Need is the only word for it.

No fanfare, no fancy alliteration, no whimsical musings of a hack poet.

Just your name on the page reflecting the emptiness, the distance between us now. It's around the time of year when we first met, when seasonal depression brought together two people who simply needed to be needed.

There's that word again.

Truth be told, we were looking for completely different things, but we somehow found them in each other. And it was at that time when our names became irrecoverably linked; said always by our mutual friends in that sing song type of voice.

Maybe that's why I wrote your name.

Our song came up that day on an unmarked mix tape, an old fossil from those days, when we thought that cassettes were "keepin' it real" and CD's just never held the magic we were after.

Is that why I wrote your name?

Choosing each song as a way to caress you when I wasn't around. Each transition a way to keep a light burning in the dark, a way to let you know that I was there, that I would always be there.

Because, we always think,
We always hope,
That we'll always be there.

But the only thing I have left is a name on a page and a song in my head. And I can't help but wondering, when I sing the last song that I'll ever sing, will you know that I sing it to you?

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I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing. [Mar. 7th, 2006|12:25 am]
[mood |myspace]
[music |"More Than Rain" - Tom Waits]

My current blog
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. [Mar. 6th, 2006|07:59 pm]
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It’s That Time of the Month. [Sep. 14th, 2005|08:40 pm]
The Chart Your Cycle Road Show is a traveling performance show put together by poets and zine publishers Chella Quint and Sarah Thomasin. The road show is a celebration of all things menstrual and succeeds in educating people about a woman’s cycle and dispelling long held myths about what goes on “downstairs.” This show featured performances by a number of local zine publishers and poets centered around their own personal menstruation stories and issues. The reading ranged from the horrifying (more for the reader than anyone else), to the sublime, but all provided insight into each woman’s ability to deal with their monthly visitors and treat it as a blessing rather than a curse. Tying the performance together were readings from Ms. Quint’s zine featuring the history of tampons advertisements and the propaganda used to sell them as well as a true life first time menstruation story which even had me identifying with the experience. If you can catch the show when it comes to your town all I can say is that it is not to be missed and you definitely won’t be disappointed. I can recommend it to men as well as women; informative, funny, and it leaves you with that “fresh feeling” deep inside.
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Unlike the rest of the internet. . . [Jun. 13th, 2005|07:04 pm]
[mood |eh]
[music |Radiohead - "Exit Music For a Film"]

I'm not going to talk about it.
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None really. [May. 30th, 2005|09:38 am]
[mood |must be bored]
[music |Roy Orbison - "Pretty Woman"]

I wonder if the only reason that caterpiller's turn into butterflies is for the analogy.
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Stupidity is the international language. [May. 25th, 2005|08:02 am]
[mood |rainy]
[music |Rancid - "The Brothels"]

Too funny not to post, from Overheard in New York

Guy #1: Hey, check out the headline in the Daily News: Free Viagra for Pervs.
Guy #2: Woo-hoo! When do I get mine?

--Washington Square Park

and from Overheard in The Office

Admin #1: So like, what exactly is the big deal about Einstein anyway?
Admin #2: Uh, how about the Theory of Relativity?
Admin #1: Yeah, I know but like, what else?

University of Idaho
709 Deakin Avenue
Moscow, Idaho
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The universe does not have laws -- it has habits, and habits can be broken. [May. 23rd, 2005|06:46 pm]
[mood |jo]
[music |Gladys Night & The Pips - Midnight Train to Georgia]

I haven't been here for awhile, some strange things are going down, and i've mostly been translating things into my own writing than on to here. I just feel like taking the world and throwing it back at itself; not for any nefarious reasons, just to see what will happen.

I feel like i'm hooked up to a giant invisible machine that keeps me propelled, keeps me going, but only at a moderated machine. I've started wrting again and i feel like i'm beginning to outrun the machine. I can feel the wires falling off and my heart beating on it's own. It feels good. Going forward always feel good. I'm still not a place where i was, when the words use to spill out of me, and i felt it all was keeping me alive.

to be truthful i've been to lazy in the past, i drifted for a few years, but things are coming back into focus and i'm so glad that New York City is the place i get to do it in. Note to some out there: Do not go to Miami to get your shit together, it's not a city know for it's great awakenings; cocaine and police corruption, yes. Trying to be a better human being; hell no. Miami is an elabrorate dream, a hallucination that all residents agree to believe is real. I believed, if you were down there you migh believe it too. I appreciated the time there, but that was very much the lost year and it's like it's always been a memory. Ok, and there was this girl. . .

We used to have a game where we would go to people's places and steal things. Nothing too exciting, a toothbrush, shoelace off a shoe, peanut butter. Just things to make life a little uncomfomfortable. Then we started leaving things; I think it was her idea; A bag of marbles in the medicine cabinet, a spider man action figure in the sock drawer, bag of weed in the ice cube tray. We were addicted to being weird, that's all it was. It wasn't magic just magical. We were just doing what we had to do to keep ourseleves from being bored. That's what we've been doing most of our lives just trying not to be bored. We're just genarally into some odd shit. Here in New York City it seems like everyone has a secret fetish of some sort, that secret part of themselves that gets seriously turned on by midget porn or the sight of a woman's wearing sandles; more for the sandles than the feet. We dance around each other man, woman in every concieble combination and occasionaly we make it work. Sometimes we find that person that just as weird as us, that person who finally makes us seem normal and accepted. An it doesn't matter if you have six toes; that's his fetish! It doesn't matter if your submissive lover, she's a dominatrix!

We're all just puzzle pieces flowing around bumping into corners that just don't fit. But not to say that there isn't something great and some times heart breaking about spending time alone those wrong corners that seemed so right at the time. But we continue because the puzzle must be completed and this whole thing has to somehow make sense in the end. I'm a bigger fan of trying to figure it out somewhere in the middle, then keep trying to figure everything else out. I'm starting to figure things out and that's reassuring, mostly because i've realized i still can.

Work is boring.
Friends are cool; i should call them more.
I haven't seen Star Wars yet and am extremely upset about that.

Also I went to a rave in Brooklyn; but i'm really not supposed to talk about it.

I like quotes.

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."
-Catherine Aird
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Just A Thought [Apr. 22nd, 2005|12:34 am]
[mood |hi]
[music |Simon & Garfunkle - "Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard"]

"I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors."

--Thomas Jefferson
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. [Apr. 13th, 2005|08:45 am]
[mood |here]
[music |Aimee Mann - "One"]

Day of Silence
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